Put his mask on back-to-front-o

Artist: Quantum Jump
Title: The Lone Ranger
Year: 1979
Chart peak: 5

Taumata-whaka-tangi-hanga-kuayuwo-tamate-aturi-
pukaku-piki-maunga-horonuku-pokaiawhen-uaka-tana-
tahu-mataku-atanganu-akawa-miki-tora. There, I've said it. And in 1979 everyone was having a go at this tongue-twister, thanks to Quantum Jump's lead singer Rupert Hine who launched into their hit single with an unmistakeable chant - the supposed Maori name of a hill in New Zealand and allegedly the longest place name in the world.

Comprising Hine (vocals and keyboards), Trevor Morais (ex-Peddlers, drums), John Perry (bass) and Mark Warner (lead guitar), Quantum Jump had been around for a while, releasing two well-recieved albums of arty, quirky white funk. "The Lone Ranger" had actually been their debut single, released in 1976 in support of their debut LP, simply titled "Quantum Jump", but had done nothing at the time - until it was picked up by Kenny Everett, its Maori chant being used extensively on his radio and TV shows. A quick remix later, the song became a belated hit and suddenly kids across the land were chanting that distinctive intro, even if it did come out more like "Tomato wacky tangy thingy curry oo-whoo" (though I bet there was always one kid who had learnt the whole thing!).

But while it was the chant that everyone remembers, what about the rest of the song? Here it gets a bit strange. In SF/fantasy fandom there is a term, "slash fiction", which refers to fan-produced fiction in which characters, um, "get it on" - the original manifestation being stories about (and I can hardly believe this either) Kirk and Spock from the original Star Trek. Hardly logical, captain, but there it is. And here's the thing: according to Quantum Jump, the Lone Ranger and Tonto might, just might, have been lovers. After all, "Kemo sabe never ever have a woman". Okayyyy...

It doesn't take much of a leap to suppose that this was still a bit outre in 1976, which may explain why the song didn't take off back then. Three years later, it was a post-Village People musical landscape, and after those high-camp songs about young men getting their kicks in the Navy and the YMCA, the Lone Ranger and Tonto having a fumble probably seemed rather tame in comparison. (Their implied drug use - let's face it, something in that peace pipe is getting them high - might have been a cause for concern, but it seems to have passed un-noticed by the powers that be at the BBC.)

Quantum Jump were already just about over by the time The Lone Ranger rode into the charts, and apart from a quickie cash-in album comprising remixed and overdubbed versions of old material, the band's story pretty much ended there. Hine went back to his production work (his credits include Tina Turner, Howard Jones, Suzanne Vega and the original incarnation of Underworld) and Morais became a top session drummer.

And somewhere in the West, the Lone Ranger and Tonto are still laughing.

Get it: Quantum Jump CD including both the original and remixed versions of "The Lone Ranger".