Not featuring Reginald Dwight

Artist: Mr. Bloe
Title: Groovin' With Mr. Bloe
Year: 1970
Chart peak: 2

It's amazing what a bit of detective work can uncover. There can't be many hit records with links to Tony Orlando, Elton John, Madness and 80s game show Treasure Hunt. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this is probably the only one. And yet its remarkable web of musical connections remains almost unknown.

First off, the bare facts: in 1970, a mysterious group called Mr. Bloe had a quirky instrumental hit with a song called "Groovin' With Mr. Bloe. Its origins were obscure, as were the identities of the group members. For years, most listeners (and most music historians) assumed that the titular Mr. Bloe was the chap playing the harmonica on the disc. Which would certainly make sense - but is wrong. Not least because the song wasn't named after the act, but rather the other way round.

And so we come to the Tony Orlando connection (no relation to the Andrea True Connection, whom I will cover in due course). Back in 1969, Orlando released a single titled "Make Believe", which made the US Top 30 but did nothing in Britain; his backing group in those pre-Dawn days was called Wind, and they also provided the single with an instrumental B-side. As you've no doubt already guessed, the instrumental in question was the original version of "Groovin' With Mr. Bloe". Wind released an LP - also called "Make Believe" - that year, but "Groovin' With Mr. Bloe" was such a throwaway that it didn't even appear on the album.



Elton John comes next. Music publisher Stephen James heard the original "Groovin' With Mr. Bloe", and smelling a potential UK hit, he attempted to acquire the British rights to the track. When his bid failed, he decided to have the track covered by a session group instead. On his return to the UK, he put together a group featuring Caleb Quaye (guitar), Dee Murray (bass), Roger Pope (drums), Ian Duck (harmonica) and Elton John, still a session musician, on piano. But James wasn't happy with the result and had it re-recorded with Zack Laurence replacing Elton, and Harry Pitch on harmonica. Pitch, incidentally, is another session legend. Remember Frank Ifield's "I Remember You"? Never mind the yodelling, the harmonica player was old Harry, who also provided backing for the likes of Cliff Richard, Des O'Connor and... well, anyone who needed a harmonica player, really. And I'm pleased to say that he's still going strong today.

Mr. Bloe's version wasn't the only one available in the UK. Co-writer Bernie Cochrane made his own version under the alias Humbug, and the Wind original was reissued too, now credited to Cool Heat. But it was the anonymous session musicians in Mr. Bloe who had the hit, possibly because the group name gave the erroneous impression that theirs was the original. The instrumental rose to number two in the charts, held off the top by Mungo Jerry's "In The Summertime". News of the hit came as quite a surprise to co-writer Kenny Laguna who claims that when he was told "Groovin' With Mr. Bloe" was a hit in Europe, he'd forgotten all about writing the track.

Subsequent singles failed to recapture the excitement of the hit. The immediate follow-up was "Curried Soul", but perhaps more interesting was the third single, "71-75 New Oxford", which was written by Elton John, and reputedly features his piano-playing too. (Though sources vary: nobody seems able to able on whether it was John or Laurence on the track.)

If you don't know what happened to Elton John then you surely shouldn't be reading a pop music blog. But what became of Zack Laurence? Well, he remained a top session musician and also had a successful sideline in writing library music for film and TV... including the theme to helicopter-based gameshow "Treasure Hunt". And the Madness connection? The B-side to their international megahit "Our House" was an instrumental titled in reference to "Groovin'...", "Walking With Mister Wheeze".

So there you go. One throwaway instrumental, barely remembered nowadays, but a whole set of connections. Aren't one hit wonders great?

Listen, I'm getting impatient

Yes folks, the blog returns. And I think that quite a long time ago, I promised a post on ace pop-punksters Splodgenessabounds, so here it is.

Artist: Splodgenessabounds
Title: Simon Templar / Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Please
Year: 1980
Chart peak: 7

You can often tell a lot about a band by the stage names they choose to give themselves, and none more so than comedy punks Splodgenessabounds, who achieved their brief moment of fame with a line-up of Max Splodge (vocals), Baby Greensleeves (more vocals), Pat Thetic (guitar), Donkey Gut (keyboards), Robert Rodent (another guitar), Desert Island Joe (drums) and Wiffy Archer (paper & comb). Yes, they had a paper & comb player - the DIY punk ethic was very much alive here. Splodge and Thetic had previously performed as a duo called The Faber Brothers, briefly getting a residency at Butlin's holiday camp in Bognor Regis. Very briefly.

Anyway, the group started playing live in March 1979, and came third in a Melody Maker talent content, netting them £200 and an amplifier. Partly as a result of this, they were picked up by Decca Records for a £1000 advance.

You can't really say a lot about "Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Please" as a song, because there's not a lot to it. Inspired by a real-life incident of struggling to get served in a pub (The Crown in Chislehurst, should you wish to recreate the magic for yourself), Splodge chants the title a lot, informs us that he even has the exact money ready (should he ever get served) and eventually has to give up when "time" is called. The song was relegated to being the second track on the B-side of "Simon Templar", a punky re-working of the the TV theme to "Return Of The Saint" (the first track on the B-side was a ditty called "Michael Booth's Talking Bum", of which the less said, the better). But in the way of such things, the other tracks on the single got passed over and it was the chant-along filler track that got all the airplay.



Splodge, it should be mentioned, was not entirely happy with the financial arrangements - he claims that he was paid just £240 for the publishing rights. And for some reason, when the BBC started a series called "Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps", named after the song, they didn't even use it as the theme music, preferring to commission a completely new song from another composer! Now that's a raw deal.

Anyway, on the "Whatever happened to...?" front, the follow-up was a raucous version of "Two Little Boys" and there was also an album, "Splodgenessabounds", which bombed spectacularly. An almost completely different line-up issued a second album under the truncated name "Splodge" in 1982 and there's still a version of Splodgenessabounds playing intermittently, but it's anyone's guess who's actually in the band now, or indeed five minutes from now. Whoever it is, at least with 24-hour licensing, they should be able to get a drink afterwards. If they're prepared to wait.